i just had sex bonerless
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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