Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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