I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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