VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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