I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
