The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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