just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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