WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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