Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
