The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
