Where did you get a picture of my penis
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
