Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
