good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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