White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
