Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
