I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
People in love make me want to vomit
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize