smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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