Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We are two peas in an std pod
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
