are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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