make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
