you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize