I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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