I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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