The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
