theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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