bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Is it because I queefed?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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