so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
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I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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