We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
