and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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