I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
