Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
