I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
