Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
