Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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