so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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