batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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