i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
