You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Randomize
