It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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