So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
