she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
