I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
i think i just lost a toe
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
