whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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