All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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