In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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