I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
