when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
