he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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