Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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