then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
