We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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