Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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