Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
