We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Everything about him screamed your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize