The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
