Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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