Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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