You're completely useless in the revolution.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize