People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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