areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
