I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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